7 things being 22 entails, according to Taylor Swift

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22 problems but a mortgage ain’t one

Watch as T-Swift awkwardly transitions from Love Story to … Morning After Last Night’s Love Story. That final plunge into the pool had to symbolic right? Watch, and let’s discuss below:

 

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1) Hanging out with the dreadful one from Gossip Girl.

What was her name? Like Jenny … or Jessica. Anyway, she was awful but the actress is awful pretty. So, evens?

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This is an Unrealistic Beach House. You won’t be living here for a while (ever).

2) Hanging out the dreadful one from Gossip Girl in a beach house.

I don’t know about you … but I plan to be living with my parents, probably, at twenty-two. There’s this thing called the recession, y’all. It’s real … real and CRUEL to your real estate fantasies.

3) A lot of Instagram

The whole thing is shot through an old-fashioned, not quite Sepia Instagram lens. Which, well, that’s probably quite accurate of anyone aged up to 22.

Non-hipster Swift does non-hipster things like shoot videos with non-hipster lenses.

Non-hipster Swift does non-hipster things like shoot videos with non-hipster lenses.

4) Making fun of hipsters

This is a thing that will still be happening. Really, she just wants an excuse to wear these glasses in every video. Nonchalant about property but thrifty on eyewear, apparently. Also, for irony see above point.

Like ... is that Vodka Cranberry. Or Ribena?

Like … is that Vodka Cranberry. Or Ribena?

5) Unrealistic amounts of alcohol

As in, where the hell is it? There are vague references to late-night munchies (not those types) and there’s a party but where’s the tequila? Where are the shots? Where’s the vomiting? Don’t lie to us, Swift. These are rough years and alcohol’s your BFF.

I ... do not know what this facial expression means.

I … do not know what this facial expression means.

6) Awkwardly partying

Okay, I get it. Swift is a pop star known for a young audience. And not the young audience that Katy Perry commands. Like the young audience that still think the best thing about coke is that it’s not water and not that it dilutes the taste of cheap vodka. And so her first out-right party tune was always going to be difficult to shoot. But it kinda works. The party feels a bit like that one from Bieber’s One Time. It would be terrible to be at, but looks quite fun in photos.

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7) Awkwardly making hand gestures. Like all the time.

This is actually super endearing. Swift keeps making these V signs (which are maybe only rude if you’re British? Take THAT, Harry) throughout the video. It reminds me of when you drunkenly make up a dance to a song that requires like, obvious hand gestures and you keep forgetting because, well vodka, and whenever it happens in the song, you’re just a moment too late so you rush and just do it anyway. MAYBE SHE WAS DRUNK THE ENTIRE VIDEO. Rock n’ roll, Taylor. Rock n’ roll. Update: As my college friend (and avid Swift fan) points out, these are clearly ‘twenty-two’ signs. Which I maybe totally forgot to mention. So MAYBE I’VE BEEN DRUNK THE ENTIRE POST.

 

 

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA About Henry Wong

Sometimes, I write about music. Pretty cool. You can follow me on Twitter @henellenthorpe, find on Instagram @hennnners or even go old school and e-mail me at henry@canyouhearthis.co.uk

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